Newsletter – 18th June 2018

Now that the dust appears to have settled on the MMM/roll-up saga, I’m assuming that it’s now safe to take off the crash-helmet – but just in case:

Golfer at Prayer


Our esteemed handicap secretary [that’s Ray Duckett to you] has asked me to make the newsletter briefer.   I’m not sure if that’s ‘cos Ray is a slow reader, and I HAVE considered a bullet point version just for Ray – but not for very long!   Well he can’t have his own way all [some] of the time.

The Course 1

Now that Mark has rid the course of many of the daisies the course is looking rather splendid, and there’s even a chance that you can find the odd wayward ball.   There are still some issues of course, the condition of the bunkers and/or length of the bunker ‘eyebrows’ being just a couple, but we will keep pecking away at these in the hope of a satisfactory result.

The more discerning of you will have noticed that as last week was a qualifier the yellow-tee markers were actually correctly placed.   This should of course be the norm and hence we have requested Mark to set the yellow-tees correctly for every roll-up, however, while he has confirmed that he will do so for all qualifiers and trophy competitions, he intends to keep his options open should the correct tees show signs of excessive wear – all we need now I suppose is a spec for “excessive wear”!!!


The Seniors Pairs Open:   Entries for the Open have now closed but you can still help the seniors section by contributing raffle prizes and/or sponsoring a hole.   If you can help, please get in touch with Richard.

The Captains Cup:   Entries formally close on 19th inst, so if you get this in time and want to enter, please let Bill know on the day and cross his palm with the required £2.00 entry-fee.   The competition takes place on 26th June and is a stroke-play qualifier played off club handicaps, so you can expect a sure-fire fun day out!!!

The Summer BBQ:   You will of course have seen the salubrious publicity for this our first social event of 2018 to be held on Friday 27th July, with Natali’s team and the Swanny Lane Duo standing by to ensure that a good time is had by all.   Just to remind you, and Richard would never forgive me if I didn’t:   doors open at 7:00pm, BBQ service commences at 7:30pm & Swanny’s first set kicks off at 8:00pm – all this for just £13/person.

All club members & their guests are welcome, and tickets are now on sale from the pro-shop, clubhouse & the course office.   DO bring your tickets to the BBQ, otherwise our bouncers may get temperamental!

Ongoing Competitions:

1          Bill has been as diligent as ever in getting the next rounds of the Gotzl & Geko competitions posted, with the current [last 16] round of the Geko to be completed by 30th June.   However, he appears to have had a rush of blood to the head with the Gotzl [pairs] as these matches only have to be completed by 6th July.

2          I’m sure that, like me, you are all holding your breath to see how the next round of the MMM pans out on Tuesday 19th inst.   But to be serious for a moment, Richard & I will be on duty by 7:45am on the day to register the medal & roll-up competitors respectively, and if each group is mindful of the other, there is no reason why a good day shouldn’t be had by all.

Branded shirts & jumpers:

There is a danger that we are ‘getting there’ as the finalised order for clothing was placed some 3-weeks ago and new artwork for the logo has been commissioned and forwarded to the supplier.   With a little luck and a following wind we should see the hardware within a matter of days now [you’ll be advised when it lands], and it is then just a matter of payment on collection please.

Our Website

A new feature of the much loved [so Terry tells me] website is an intelligence test for geriatrics of all ages compiled by our very own brain of Carswell, Bill Baker – just go to the home page at and follow the link.

I wouldn’t say it was easy, but I nearly answered one correctly – I did say nearly!!!!

Slow Play

Other than the pro-shop not letting interlopers onto the course during the roll-up, and Paul has hopefully plugged that gap, a couple of re-reminders as it appears some are still not playing ball – pun definitely intended:

  1. On the green – Always park trolleys/buggies on the exit-path side of the green. If you need to play an approach shot, then take both the required club AND the putter with you – this saves your legs as well as time.
  2. On the fairway – If in any doubt about finding your ball, play a provisional and unless it’s a trophy competition [or gold-plated ball] limit the search to 3-minutes please. The roll-up is meant to provide a convivial round of golf, and seeing the group in front all up to their knees in rainforest for what may seem an age doesn’t really achieve this.

Even better of course, try hitting the fairway occasionally – just a thought!!!

Heard on the Course

Carswell Seniors member:       I went to my fitness instructor the other day and said, “I’d like to be able to do the splits!

Fitness instructor:                    “How flexible are?”

Seniors member:                      “I’m usually free on Monday’s!!!!!”

Courtesy of Gerry Senior, with apologies to Tommy Cooper evidently.


Cliff Davies

18th June, 2018