Ode to a Satnav

I have a little Satnav it sits there in my car.
A Satnav is a driver’s friend it tells you where you are.
I have a little Satnav I’ve had it all my life.
It’s better than the normal ones my Satnav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions especially how to drive, It’s sixty
miles an hour it says You’re doing sixty five. It tells me when
to stop and start and when to use the brake and tells me that it’s never
ever safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red and when it goes to green it seems to know
instinctively just when to intervene. It lists the  vehicles just in front and all those to the rear
And taking this into account it specifies my gear.

I’m sure no other driver has so helpful a device
for when we leave and lock the car it still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling each journey’s pretty fraught
so why don’t I exchange it and get a quieter sort.

Ah well you see it cleans the house, makes sure I’m properly fed
It washes my shirts and things and keeps me warm in bed.
Despite all these advantages and my tendency to scoff
I only wish that now and then I could TURN THE BUGGER OFF!!

( Anon with thanks to R Bates for academic research)